The other day we went river rafting with my sister's family. We spent the entire day on the river and had a blast. It was a gorgeous day in Colorado as usual. And we all enjoyed every minute of it, as you can see from our faces. Our bodies were a little sore the next day, but something we will definitely do again.






Adam and I were in the back, where it was really bumpy. There were a couple times I thought I might fall out.

The weekend of July 17-19, 2009 will be a prominent point of history in the lives of the Rutkowski family. We knew going into this weekend that it would be a whirlwind trip. Our plan was to go camping with the Webers and the Applequists. The Rutkowski’s were to arrive on Friday evening at Eleven Mile Reservoir’s luscious Backcountry campground, outside of Lake George, CO. The Webers were to arrive Saturday Morning; and the Applequists were to arrive Saturday afternoon. Alas, the Applequists were forced to take up residence in a citified RV park, as there was no room in the inn. (I guess if one expects to camp in Colorado, they have to plan far enough in advance to make reservations.) Still, though, the Applequists got to join us for the afternoon and evening, where CJ amazed us all with the “Fusion Stove”, which he claims will run on any given fuel. CJ considers this piece of “elegant design” to be the camper’s equivalent to the modified food processor on the Back to the Future Delorean. And Diane had us all salivating over their yummy Campfire Dutch Oven Pizza.


I wish we could say that this trip was made up entirely of such awe-inspiring, jaw-dropping moments. Instead, we can make claims to have dropped more than a few pounds hiking. Some of us even dropped so hard that we were left asking the question as to which was harder—the ground, or our heads.

It all started with a phone call to the campsite. Angi asked the ranger how far we would have to hike to get to these glorious backcountry campsites. The ranger responded that it was just a short quarter-mile hike. We later found out that the opinion held by this ranger told two separate stories. First, we found out that to the ranger, a hike that was well over a half-mile and included the scaling of large rock cliffs was really just the equivalent of an easy morning warm-up routine. Second, we realized that to the average lazy camper who happened to be carrying the largest ice chest ever created, a hike that exceeded a half-mile felt so much more like five miles than 0.5 miles!


This weekend was the first time I can say that I had a practical life experience that defined the law of supply and demand. The Rutkowski family easily had over five trips worth of supplies they needed to pack into this beautiful campsite. Avoiding packing our gear across this humongous hike was well worth the measly sixty-dollar charge the marina was going to stick us with for the round-trip taxi service our cargo was about to enjoy.

We had no idea that our next adventure would involve people getting hurt. Little five-year-old Madison is still trying to figure out which was worse—the old rusty fishhook that her foot stepped on, or the subsequent tetanus shot the doctor gave her. But Katie got the worse end of it, by far. She wasn’t strong enough to hold Toby back when he saw the chipmunk on the rocks by the lake. Katie’s hand got stuck in the leash, and next thing you know, she was being dragged along the granite rocks by the lake, taking a chunk out of her big toe; skinning the knuckles on her hand; and crashing her head so hard into the granite rock that her braces left a partially permanent impression on the inside of her cheek. Her eyeglasses certainly did not fair well either. One by one, many of the ladies of the campsite decided that they were determined to remember this trip, even if it required being injured to do so.


There’s still a question though, which was worse – the ladies getting hurt, or the “nasty” lady. Jen referred to the gal in the campsite across from us as a “mean nasty”. Truthfully, what kind of person is so hateful of other people that they reserve two separate but neighboring campsites all for themselves when there are only two people occupying the site? This boyfriend/girlfriend, or husband/wife only stayed in one of the two campsites, but if anyone else even stepped foot on their empty site for some innocent reason like, walking through to get to the lake to see the most beautiful sunset in the world, that person had better be wearing a helmet and a Kevlar vest. It’s guaranteed that the darts this girl spewed out of her mouth at a rate of fire equal to a machine gun were as powerful as a rocket launcher. We all felt like we needed more armor. Lucky for us, Brittanie was in the process of memorizing Ephesians 6, “putting on the whole armor of God”. Even so, this lady was mean enough to bring tears to Brittanie’s eyes…


Remember that huge ice chest? Well we figured we would turn the law of supply and demand in our favor. I certainly did not want to help Tom carry his huge ice chest back down that trail again. It was only smart that since we were demanding the taxi service from the local marina, we should also make sure we bountifully supplied the cargo. We were quite certain that the marina would agree with us that all in all, our cargo was less than it was when we started. After all, our starving stomachs felt extremely full.


Time was not on our side Sunday Morning. We had another adventure knocking at our door. Across the state, through multiple mountain ranges of mountain pine beetle infested forests, there was an honors camp for Awana waiting for our eager young daughter, Brittanie. We only had a few brief hours to travel across this state in order to get our daughter to camp on time. Oh bummer, we forgot—Adam had about 150 pages worth of reading to do in his Business Law & Ethics class, and we left the reading material in Adam’s truck! Praying for one last window of strong cell phone signal, we managed to reach Jen and Tom and they were only a few miles away. Tom would be happy to turn around and make sure Adam’s scenic view was filled with pages of nostalgic memories from Kant, Smith, and Hayek instead of the beautiful mountain ranges of Fairplay and Estes Park!

Brittanie wound up finishing her coin operated shower just about the time that Tom pulled up. (It would have been a shame for this dirty little girl to show up at the honors camp looking like Orphan Annie). Brittanie proudly flashed Adam’s filthy dirty toothbrush through the sky telling her Daddy what a great job the toothbrush did cleaning the dirt from under her toenails! Adam’s not sure he will ever brush his teeth again…

With a quick sweep of the wind and turn of the steering wheel, we were off on our next adventure. We needed to get Brittanie to the Awana Honors camp in Estes Park, fast! After only a few turns, we realized we were lost. Our sole guidance was a text-based printout from maps.google. In order to save space, Angi printed the directions as text only, with no maps. We weren’t too bad off, though. The guy in Hartsel, CO was kind enough to show us a picture of his road atlas, and after giving us a gentle ribbing for being crazy enough to take the back roads to Estes Park, he chimed in on what he felt would be the most scenic of the two different potential routes.

We fell in love with the drive from Fairplay to Breckenridge. Our only disappointment rested with the fact that we were in much too much of a hurry to be able to stop and see the sights. It was also more than a little disappointing to see the forests partially devastated by the pine beetle. But big adventures were yet to come. A word to the wise—if you are looking to have maps.google give you directions, you may want to think twice before clicking on one of the “alternate suggested routes”. Angi’s selection of an alternate route had us exiting in Idaho Springs, and heading North through Russell Gulch on Two Brothers Road. There were more than a few times that we were certain we were lost. This all gravel road had so many washboards on it, we felt as if we were being pummeled by a jackhammer. Sure it was nostalgic to see all of the extremely small mining tunnels immediately off the side of the road—but we couldn’t shake the disconcerting feeling that someone was about to pop out of the side of the road with a shotgun—and I for one was preoccupied with trying to figure out whether I was seeing a variety of mirages, or if there really were signs that read, “TRESPASSERS WILL BE SHOT COLD!!”

Eventually, by luck of an internal compass of sorts, we came out at the bottom of this windy, bumpy road, smack center in the middle of the town of Mayberry! Feeling completely lost, Adam urged Angi to stop right away and let him out. This was a very good decision. Adam’s focus centered on a bench on the sidewalk where Barney Fife and the town’s Barber, Floyd, were sitting a spell.

Adam quickly interviewed the odd couple, trying desperately to get some directions on how to get to their destination. The clock was ticking, and Brittanie was irritatingly worried. Barney and Floyd asked where we were going. Then they asked where we came from. When Adam pointed up the hill, and confirmed that we really did come from up there, the odd couple looked at each other with bulging eyes, and said, “You came down ‘Oh my God road’?” “Huh?” was all the more that Adam could mutter.” Floyd quickly pointed out that “Oh my God road” was the old wagon trail, and was also the original road into Central City, CO. The two couldn’t believe that we had just come down that crazy road.

Well, we were given directions through Nederland and Peaceful Valley, and we soon arrived at Estes Park. Brittanie was the last arrival at this week-long Christian camp, and we were on our journey home through Boulder, and down to Colorado Springs. After feeding the remaining Rutkowski clan dinner for $15 at a local Estes Park Hamburger stand, and grabbing some amazingly awesome ice cream cones down the street for $9, we decided to resist the urge to grab a hotel, and headed for home. Pinewood Springs had its own interesting sights. Over the course of that one single day, we had already encountered over a hundred bicycles on the road, some that were clearly on a short journey, and some that were packed for cross-country travel. So it shouldn’t have been a surprise to see another bike on the road, but it was… We stopped for gas and saw a man and a woman pull in on a Harley. The truth is, we saw a man and a woman, AND their South-American Parrot pulling into the gas station on their Harley! We never though a parrot could fly as a fast as an eagle, but that day we realized that given a chance, a parrot could drive as fast as an eagle could fly. What a crazy day! Shortly thereafter, we marveled at the small pieces of a beautiful rainbow we could see in the sky. Following the path of the rainbow to the other side of landscape, our eyes marveled at our next amazing sight—a woman on the paved roadway, cross-country skiing!
This gal had skis with wheels on them, and she was racing the Harley down the roadway—you know, the one with the parrot on it? Almost immediately thereafter, we realized that we were only about five minutes outside of Boulder. Suddenly these strange sights began to make a little more sense.

And from the back of the van, we started hearing noises that made us think we were watching The Wizard of Oz. Madison was chanting with growing volume, “I want to go home. I want to go home. I want to go home, now, now, now.” In chorus, Nathaniel was chanting, “I’ve got to go poop. I’ve got to go poop. I’ve got to go poop, now, now, now.” Angi and Adam found themselves wishing that they were still in Kansas, but feeling like they spent the day in the land of Oz…

Wow…… the end of year is within sight. We made it through our first year of homeschooling—something four years ago I thought was impossible when God first started to call me to homeschool. My thoughts were, “God what are you asking me to do? I can’t do that—I barely made it through school myself! This is something I feel completely incapable of succeeding at.” The whole time God was saying, “But I am. I will do it through you. I will give you what you need.” My greatest heart’s desire was that my children would know and love Him. So when He called me to homeschool I thought it was for the hearts of my children. I have come to find out it was for mine as well. I needed to trust Him with one my greatest weaknesses. I decided I was going to step out and trust Him to provide and equip me with everything I would need.

Adam and I have been married for almost 13 years and have four children, Kaylin (13), Brittanie (10), Madison (4) and Nathaniel (3). I am so thankful for the support and encouragement my husband has given me on this homeschooling adventure. He knows my weaknesses and me more than anyone, and yet he had complete faith in me.


Along with our decision to homeschool came the decision to pull Kaylin and Brittanie out of public school—something Kaylin wasn’t too happy about and something Brittanie was very excited about. Would Kaylin become resentful towards me for doing this? Was I going to survive all day at home with my kids locked away in a small two-bedroom townhome? Well, I am here to tell you I did survive and that God did amazing things in all our hearts! I can’t say it was always easy. We sailed through the first eight weeks fueled almost exclusively by excitement. I was getting the opportunity to learn. This had been one of my prayers for years, and God was now answering it. I was building better relationships with my daughters. I was seeing a heart change in Kaylin already. They were enjoying playing with each other.

Then week nine hit, and, for a time, it became an uphill battle and I wanted to quit. I was spending all day with Kaylin and Brittanie, teaching school while Madison and Nathaniel ran around like monsters destroying the house. I was starting to get tired. Nothing seemed to be going like it was supposed to. I cried out to God telling Him how unequipped I felt. I ran into so many happy homeschoolers who loved it and their children loved it. I thought my homeschool should look like everyone else’s. What was wrong with me? How come I didn’t love it?

I came to find out that I had too many “good things.” Every time I heard of a good thing in homeschooling, I thought I needed to do it. So we were getting weighed down with doing all of the huge variety of “good things.” I am so thankful for those of you that God sent into my life at just the right time to tell me to relax and to tell me that I didn’t have to do it all or know it all—that what was most important was to build relationships with my children and to develop Godly character in them.

God never told me it was going to be easy. If it were easy, I probably would not depend on Him everyday like I do now. I so desperately need Him everyday, though! I am so thankful He takes the weak and broken and does amazing things with them. God is moving in our family as we lean more into Him everyday. He is changing all of our hearts. I can’t wait to see what He does in the years to come. I was doing my devotions the other day and read Galatians 6:9, “Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary.” My prayer for next year is to relax, to enjoy my children, to fall more in love with Jesus and when I grow weary and tired……I would rest in Him who is able to provide our every need. If God can use me in my weakness, He can use anyone!

Psalm 139:13-18
13For you formed my inward parts; you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.
14I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works;
 my soul knows it very well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you,when I was being made in secret,
 intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
16Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book were written, every one of them,
 the days that were formed for me,
when as yet there was none of them. 17How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
 How vast is the sum of them!
 18If I would count them, they are more than the sand.
 I awake, and I am still with you.





Our Heavenly Father is so good! Today my husband adopted our oldest daughter. I say our daughter because that is what she was to him, even before it was written down legally on a piece of paper. God had great plans for Kaylin even before she was born. You see God placed this wonderful man into Kaylin’s life and mine at just the right time. First, God called me to Himself and then He blessed Kaylin and I with Adam. Adam loved Kaylin as his own unconditionally. Kaylin is blessed to have a daddy like Adam. God knew exactly what Kaylin needed.  He heard my hearts cry for a family and a father for my daughter and I have been so incredibly blessed with the most wonderful family. I am so grateful for a God that loves us so much and has great plans for us. When He called me He gave me new life and I can’t ever imagine my life without Him.

So, last night when we were getting ready for bed, Kaylin was telling Madison that she was gong to be adopted tomorrow. Madison started to cry hysterically because she thought that this meant we would be having another family adopt Kaylin. Madison sure loves her KK!

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This picture was taking on Sunday, after a very long day. We went to the late service, so we just had enough time to come home eat lunch and be right back at church for Awana's. I usually leave Nathaniel at home with Adam, but took him with me this time and so he did not get a nap. This picture is a result of that long day!

Yes.....I know the date is wrong.

"I will remember the deeds of the Lord; yes, I will remember your wonder of old. I will ponder all your work, and meditate on your mighty deeds. Your way oh God, is holy. What god is great like our God? You are the God who works wonders." Psalm 77:11-14



There are so many reasons why I have come to love Colorado. I love the mountains and that we have so many sunny days. I love to look at Pikes Peak and think how awesome God is. I love love His creation! But the main reason I have come to love Colorado is because of the mark God has left on my heart here. Here is where He gave me a heart for my children. Here He showed me what it is to be a mother. Here He showed me more of His unconditional love. And I learned to show my children and husband that same unconditional love. Here I had Nathaniel......my special little boy who brings me so many smiles! Here He broke my heart for many things. Here He showed me that I can do all things through Him, regardless of my past failures. Here He called me to homeschool my children, in spite of all my inadequacies He showed me that it is not me, but Him in me. He uses the broken and does amazing things with them. Here He taught me to be a friend. He gave me many friends who were all so different. Some for just a time and some forever. Here I went without friends and learned to lean more on Him. And in these last 6 months He gave me friends I instantly fell in love with and have learned so much from. Here we did not Have a big house, but here I had a family that was falling more in love with Him. Here He knit our hearts together as a family. Here He has done amazing things in my heart and just when I thought He was finished with me here in Colorado, He did even more. Now He is showing me how to completely trust in Him, even when I don't understand. That He is my father and knows what is best for his children. That my hope can only be in Him and not in anything of this world. Now, I really believed that my hope was only in Him....until He took something away. I am so thankful that He is so concerned with out hearts. He wants all of us, not just part of us. I am learning to count it all joy when we endure hardships, because of what it is producing in me. This is why I have come to love Colorado for the many things He has done and the many more things He will do. I look forward to falling more in love with Him and my children falling more in love with Him. I have so much more to learn and I am so glad He goes wherever we go. I thank him for Colorado! I thank Him for this hardship! He has forever left a mark on my heart here in Colorado.


Therefore I will say, "I am here by God's appointment, in His keeping, under His training, for His time."